This old lady in Greenville Mississippi once explained to me that women are like ice cream sundaes. When a guy meets us we are adorned with all these yummy and delicious toppings Almonds, strawberries, crushed Reese’s, with hot caramel drizzled on top (My favorite) LOL. These toppings are of course what make's us feel energized, happy, beautiful, and attract others; all in all it’s our swag. However, many women give away all their toppings in a relationship. And in the end when it’s all said and done we’re sitting on the edge of our beds wondering who the hell we are (I've learned to never be willing to give up what makes you, YOU). At age 21 when I finally realized the guy who I thought was my knight in shining armor was really just a looser wrapped in aluminum foil (lol). I finally gave up and put him out. For the next couple of weeks I remember sitting on my couch trying to figure out who the hell I was. I literally had lost myself, it was as if I had awakened from a 2-year coma because I couldn’t remember anything about myself. I didn’t know what my favorite color was, what I liked to do for fun, my favorite clothing store. Shoot I had even let this boy convince me that wearing weave was unnecessary and a waste of money. The funny part is I than started using that money to support what seemed like "our weed habit" but was actually his.
Thus, my journey began and I set sail to find out who I was. The year 2010 had actually been my first time since my freshmen year of high school not being in a relationship. This was also one of the longest, healthiest and intriguing adventures I’d ever been on. Because of this adventure, today I know who I am. I am no longer that naïve girl who once believed I had to give up my independence, sacrifice my stability, maintenance or happiness to make a relationship work. I’ve turned out to be this beautiful, sassy, adventurous, and out spoken creature who knows that a relationship should be built on two people who are happy and stable, merging together so that they can share their own personal happiness with each other. Even in friendships I refuse to play small or dim my light because doing so will not make someone else's light shine brighter. Loving myself, Learning myself, and never giving all my toppings away to a friend or lover will always be my latest adventure. What’s yours?