• Alex

Bae don’t wanna travel with me, should I still go? Damn…

As far back as I can remember I’ve always fantasized about travel. However, in my early 20’s I didn’t do much traveling because I was in a few relationships with dudes who weren’t too interested in traveling. It wasn’t that they didn’t like traveling, it was the fact that they’d rather not invest their money in it. One even claimed to have some weird dream about a plane crash that he believed was a sign to cancel our trip to Los Angeles. Whatever the issue was at the time, it always boiled down to us both having different priorities regarding where we wanted to spend our money. No matter how many National Geographic magazines I showed them or Travel Channel episodes we watched, travel simply wasn’t a priority for them.

For this reason, I didn’t do a lot of traveling from ages 18-24. I took a few weekend trips down to the Deltas of Mississippi (Ooohhh and there was this one time me and my friend Dorothy took a greyhound bus up to NYC), but for the most part, my wander-lusting spirit remained unfulfilled until those relationships ended and my thirst for adventure grew.

The only regrets I have are not taking advantage of the opportunities to travel in my early years.

I’ve always had a passion for seeing other places and trying new things (even if it was in my own city), and always did. I dreamed of exploring jungles on the other side of the world, eating exotic culinary dishes, and learning about the dance and language of other cultures. Yet, because I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t care to travel, I didn’t explore those dreams.

I think there are many men and women who have dealt with this same situation. I believe this happens because when you’re in a relationship, you tend to see yourself as a package deal.

Unfortunately, this train of thought can sometimes be a traveler’s downfall. It’s perfectly okay to have different hobbies, and do things separately while in a relationship. In my early 20’s I knew this, but for some reason I felt that I wouldn’t enjoy my trip as much if my bae wasn’t able to tag along. So, I didn’t go either.

No matter what the reason is, sometimes our Boo’s or Bae’s aren’t as excited about travel as us Travel Junkies and that’s ok. However, over the years I have found ways to happily travel the world with or without my Boo-thing being involved.

Go with your friends instead…

It’s okay if bae isn’t geeked about traveling. If you have at least one cool friend who’s driven to travel like you are, you can always plan your world travels with them, while keeping peace in your relationship (No need to nag bae about why he or she never wants to travel with you). Most of the time Bae will understand that it’s important for you to have alone time with your friends or family…and if they don’t understand that, it’s probably time to get the hell out of that toxic relationship. If your Boo isn’t thrilled about travel, they’ll probably be glad that you have someone else to go with. However, it’s highly likely that the great pictures, stories, and souvenirs you will have upon your return will spark them to go next time.

Whisk them away.

If Bae is worthy of it, why not treat him or her to getaway? Sometimes people just don’t travel because they believe they can’t afford it. If your Boo’s primary reason for not wanting to travel is budget, and budget isn’t a concern for you, treat them to a trip (ONLY IF YOU KNOW THEIR WORTH IT, I WOULD ONLY ADVISE THIS FOR COUPLES WHO HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A WHILE). Now…I definitely understand that whisking people away on international adventures isn’t in everyone’s budget, but if it is, doing so may spark a little wanderlust in them, and pave the way for them to save up for future Bae trips.

Plan a solo trip.

Now this option is ONLY for the daring because some people have a phobia (Autophobia) of doing things alone. If your Boo happens to n ot like a certain restaurant do you stop eating from there as well? NO. You probably go on your own, or uber-eats from there. Well…travel is just the same way. Just because Bae doesn’t want to see the wonders of the Serengeti that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on it too.

Unfortunately, a lot of people avoid travel in a relationship if their Boo isn’t willing to go because there’s a negative stigma that comes with traveling solo when you’re in a relationship. My advice is to take that stigma, wipe your ass with it and flush it down the toilet.Now, I’m not saying develop a, “fuck You Bae, I’m traveling with or without you” attitude. instead approach the subject carefully and explain why travel is important to you. Make sure that they understand that you’re not trying to leave them, or sneak away to be with somebody else. Explain to them that although you respect their stance on not wanting to travel, travel is something that makes you feel fulfilled and happy outside of the relationship. In essence let them know that you’re traveling solo, not traveling single (traveling is your hobby).

While traveling was not the reason that I called it quits in a few of my early relationships. I’m pretty sure that over time I would have become annoyed and overwhelmed with begging my partner to travel with me. I’ve made it my business to ensure that I don’t get involved with any couch potatoes. I have to be with someone who finds travel just as Dope as I do. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not your typical 30+ woman who’s dying to be domesticated and fall into the routine of family life right now. In fact, maybe some people aren’t meant to be tamed, maybe they need to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with them.